… kind of sucks and is highly overrated. As with most things we wait impatiently for in life, it just does not live up to its hype. I remember as a kid, begrudgingly complying with whatever a grown-up had told me to do, I would swear under my breath and think I could not wait for when I was a grown up too, bossing people around and not having to play nice/go to bed early/ wear the frilly dress and not the jeans/go to school, etc.
I just didn’t think I would have to boss myself around; or at least I didn’t think it would be this hard. The problem mostly is that somewhere along the way I became a serial procrastinator and managed to convince myself that as long as everything gets done eventually, it’s okay to slack off here and there.
Here I am, a 20-something grown-ass person with Important Adult Things to do, but somehow, I find ways to avoid said responsibilities. I’ll need to return phonecalls and emails, and find myself blogging or facebooking. Pending trip to the bank? I am derailed by a shiny book display along the way. I promise to contribute to people’s lives in positive ways (donations and other activities), and I slack off. Friends’ wedding meetings, and I magically find myself sitting in my favorite bar, drinking and watching a game.
I even have a Procrastination Spiral. (I have a lot of Spirals, e.g. Sneaky Hate Spiral). Something Important comes up. I know I have to do it, but I put it off for what seems like a reasonable time (an hour, half a day) promising to get it done as soon as I have eaten this sandwich, bought some airtime, listened to this album … or some such trivial but seemingly-LifeandDeath-at-the-time activity. Finish activity. Important Thing rears its head, bellowing for my attention. By now, I am feeling a lot guilty and I resolve to do it. I get started, but I am consumed by self-loathing and disgust at my laziness and I put it off until I’m “feeling better”.
I am an adult, and yet I still need to grow the fuck up. Urgh.
Allie, my favorite blogger, illustrates it thus:
How do I stop being such a slacker?