Tag Archives: profound truths

throwing one more dice

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For many of us, there is always a point where we stop and think, is this what I am meant to be doing with my life?

I made a decision some days ago to abandon altogether something in which I have invested close to 5 years and a shitload of money and effort. I could no longer shake the niggling feeling that I was at the wrong party.

My heart wasn’t really in it from the start, but I kept telling myself that if I worked hard enough, it would all be okay. I could learn to love it. No such thing. That little voice just gets louder with time.

I am a firm believer in pursuing the things we are passionate about and good at. It makes no sense at all to have a talent for one thing, but spend your life chasing after something you’re not very good at because you’ve let people convince you that it is “better-paying” or “it will open doors for you”.

I am in essence throwing away the past five years, and pretty much starting fresh, and I am shitscared, but I also have a very good feeling about this.

I just stumbled across this little article, and I’m taking it as yet another sign:

Be willing to fail—doing something you love.
In 1997 I had just graduated from law school (with tons of student-loan debt) and was interviewing for high-paying positions at big firms. The problem was, my heart wasn’t in it. So I took myself out of the running in order to build a small Internet publishing company with a friend. After a year of barely staying afloat, our venture went the way of a 404 ERROR message. I was broke and unemployed, and Sallie Mae was hot on my tail. I wondered what endeavor I should try next.
It sounds crazy, but once again I decided to throw caution to the wind and just do what I wanted. I began working as a trial attorney for the U.S. Department of Justice. Over the next few years, I held a wide array of fascinating jobs that I took because they captured my imagination: serving in the military, reporting from Iraq for the Washington Post, and, most recently, becoming a full-time author. Some might consider me flighty for changing careers so often, but I contend that the key to professional happiness is asking yourself two simple questions every single day: Are you passionate about what you do? And if not, what are you going to do instead?

Bill Murphy Jr., the author of The Intelligent Entrepreneur

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Being An Adult…

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… kind of sucks and is highly overrated. As with most things we wait impatiently for in life, it just does not live up to its hype. I remember as a kid, begrudgingly complying with whatever a grown-up had told me to do, I would swear under my breath and think I could not wait for when I was a grown up too, bossing people around and not having to play nice/go to bed early/ wear the frilly dress and not the jeans/go to school, etc.

I just didn’t think I would have to boss myself around; or at least I didn’t think it would be this hard. The problem mostly is that somewhere along the way I became a serial procrastinator and managed to convince myself that as long as everything gets done eventually, it’s okay to slack off here and there.

Here I am, a 20-something grown-ass person with Important Adult Things to do, but somehow, I find ways to avoid said responsibilities. I’ll need to return phonecalls and emails, and find myself blogging or facebooking. Pending trip to the bank? I am derailed by a shiny book display along the way. I promise to contribute to people’s lives in positive ways (donations and other activities), and I slack off. Friends’ wedding meetings, and I magically find myself sitting in my favorite bar, drinking and watching a game.

I even have a Procrastination Spiral. (I have a lot of Spirals, e.g. Sneaky Hate Spiral). Something Important comes up. I know I have to do it, but I put it off for what seems like a reasonable time (an hour, half a day) promising to get it done as soon as I have eaten this sandwich, bought some airtime, listened to this album … or some such trivial but seemingly-LifeandDeath-at-the-time activity. Finish activity. Important Thing rears its head, bellowing for my attention. By now, I am feeling a lot guilty and I resolve to do it. I get started, but I am consumed by self-loathing and disgust at my laziness and I put it off until I’m “feeling better”.

I am an adult, and yet I still need to grow the fuck up. Urgh.

Allie, my favorite blogger, illustrates it thus:

How do I stop being such a slacker?

Look, a post with no football-talk!

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I thought I’d let up on the FIFA chats for now. We’re launching our Resource Center at my work this evening. It’s kind of been my pet project, and there’s going to be diplomats and other fancy types and everything better go right or I will set myself on fire and kill everything that’s moving.

I’m not nervous, though.

Also, bungee-jumping with friends tomorrow. Wheeee!!! I’ve been meaning to do this for ages, and certain people in the past have told me to go jump off a cliff so figured I’d take them up on it. Must remember to carry camera.

And now, an important message from the Cookie Monster:

damn straight

 

Happy weekend all!